Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair
and
nails
done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching
the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or
anything.
Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the
case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair
and
nails
done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching
the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or
anything.
Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the
case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing
has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
good woman is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging.
Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your
hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just
like a man!"
My mother raised me to not say anything if youcan't say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with
MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee
because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a
coincidence
that mybrother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and
your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and feltthat we could work it
out.
So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars,
I
quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I
guess. I
hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with
your
letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
Tony