Subject: Year to date statistics on Airport screening of 75,000 passengers 

 

Year to date statistics on Airport screening of 75,000 passengers from the Department of Homeland Security

 

Terrorist Plots Discovered=0

Transvestites=133

Hernias=1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases=3,172

Enlarged Prostates =8,249

Breast Implants=59,350

Natural Blondes=3

False Teeth=2,374

Wigs=220

Pacemakers=14